&maybe, we were made for eachother.

it was AMAZING to see you lot last night :]


wooo hannah!

so i think im going to actually go to school starting this fall.
i really want to get my RN going, and can't without actually going to school.
plus it would be nice to no longer "barely make it".

& im excited for hannah's grad party.
i miss you guys.
even though I saw Catie the other day..
BUT STILL.

haha beth.
those iranians are nuts.



do you believe in ghosts? - yuh. i doo.

SO.. here's the MO-Scoop.

we gave him to a gentleman (he was an uncle to my boss's daughter) who claimed he loved dogs and has already a stbernard; said he couldn't wait to see him and how he was so excited. THIS MORNING, my Mom got a phone call from the Will County shelter saying that they've had Mo for a week, that its taken them so long to track my Mom down. The found him roaming around the town, went to all the farms in the area, and nobody claimed Mo as theirs.

After playing phone tag all day with several people, the 'gentleman' now does not want to give us his info, saying that he took Mo to a no kill shelter and that he said he couldn't take care of the dog. This means he had Mo for about roughly 4/5 days, and he didn't think it was necessary to give us (or try) a call to say he couldn't keep Mo anymore. In the mean time, supposedly dropping him off at a no kill shelter. BUT HERE'S THE KICKER!.. The 'gentleman' still has all Mo's paperwork, and if he really did take him to a shelter, dontcha think the shelter would of wanted his paperwork? HMMMM.. !!

I'm so upset. This is so much stress on SO many people's plates, that was never needed. I feel terrible because now my boss feels its her responsibility to track a lot of this down, and I feel like its mine. I hate that Mo is now going through so much without doing anything wrong. I'm hating that this guy just couldn't call us and tell us he didn't want to keep him, and on top of it.. HE doesnt even want to talk to us personally - he'd rather play all this phonetag business. It's doing me in something terrible.

I'm telling you. I think this guy just dumped Mo somewhere and is now feeling guilty because in some way, its coming to bite him in the butt. I hate that people can be so inconciderate sometimes. ily Mo :(

lol i like how just me & catie write in here now. ohhh well.




chalk fun with little man :]

why do I always tend to say the wrong things at the wrong time?

I need to stop writing out of anger.. I really do.

So things have been quite crazy lately.

Zinnia has been spending a couple weekends with us and doing things with the family, its quite nice I must say. We made taffy apples this sunday after apple picking. Last we had our xmen marathon, which was also a grand evening.

Friday we all (being Heather, Meagan, Justin, Beth & I) went to see Grudge 2. I had the best time I've had in well over a year. I laughed so uncontrolably and smiled the entire time. We went to Steak&Shake after and watched the underage kids get kicked out, how delightful. We started remembering old times we each had had in a s&s and it made me a bit sad. ohwell. Then on Saturday we went over to Catie&Hannah's house. MAN was it a blast. I once again laughed my butt off and I wouldn't change that for the WORLD!.. Thanks for inviting us all over that day Catie, and thanks Hannah for REINVITING us over when Catie told us no.

My cellphone got shut off today, and I'm not sure if its because Daniel is pissed at my Mom asking him to start paying for it since he owes her money, or if its just because we had such a high bill and its not been paid. Either way - I'm phoneless and that makes me nervous because what if something happens with Benn in the car and I've no phone and I'm in the middle of nowhere?.. Serves me right for signing up for something with someone who didn't intend on sticking around.

Speaking of which, I plan on visiting Maxwell in the end of December. Would be lovely if I could stay for more than 3-5 days, but work overcomes play so I have to be back before newyears, which blows. I'd love to see him wasted, only so I can give him crap and hopefully get him to stop drinking. My ex Chris has been trying to talk with me again, which is kinda crazy but in some ways not. I kinda miss the guy.. in some weird way. I've been sitting down staring into nothing, thinking about ex's alot lately. Where they are, what they're doing, am I missed? Its weird when you sit and think of it that way and 9 times out of 10 I'm sure that I'm not, but you cannot sit in selfpity forever. Good times are always had with each person God brings into your life, and as someone has said to me before God may bring people in your world for a reason but he will also take them out for a reason and you can't fight it.. or something like that. I can't say that I don't miss any ex of mine, but I also can't say that I'd change the way things have gone in my past. Its time for a new, and Maxwell is definatly bringing that new along at a very nice pace. I've cared for him forever, so its only a given that we try things out correct? Longdistance relationships are mega hard though, but I think if we try and stick things out I wont be a kinda girlfriend anymore.





OH! &&I'm so way excited for baptisms.. Who's all coming? Let me know so I can make sure you know where to sit and such :]

xo.

Time for an update..

This past Thursday I had another date. His name was Kyle. Totally nice, kinda weird. He took me to see The Black Dahlia, then took me home. We talked some and things that he had said made it seem as if he had wanted to hangout a bunch more. I've not spoken to him since.


We just had a Small Group Conference this past week so I have been working nonstop since Wednesday, and I dont have another day off till this Friday. I'm totally beat - emotionally and physically.

I recently completed my membership, but have not had my dialogue with Janet to conferm it. I still need to be baptised, which today I signed up for (Nov 1, new community @ 7 pm). I also have to volunteer, so I am signing up for etierh Tuesday or Friday, or both even, to help out in Promisetowne (the promiseland for the weekdays, pretty much a free daycare for volunteers). I signed up to be a Greeter, so we'll see if I get feedback on that one. I'm really glad that I've moved further spirtually towards God. I'm going on the right path right now, even when its kinda boring or rough, I'm still moving along swiftly.

I cannot wait till next Sunday. We're going apple picking with APAT&the girls :] and then two Sundays from that we are going to be picking out our pumpkins to carve. I wonder if I will allow Benn to get into his pumpkin or something.. Maybe i can find a big enough one.. We'll see. :]

Don't forget to check Mom's photobucket for pictures!!

if you don't like being hurt then please don't stay.




I'm really excited for my date tomorrow, as is he, or atleast thats what he says lol. Yesterday at work I was told that I'm confident in myself. I really don't see that, but someone else does so does that make it true?

I just finished my membership for the church. I feel like i am lacking as a christian, its not even funny. I've not even been baptised again. I really need to get that done.

I'm here in the library once again.
Why am I so ashamed to cry my eyes out in the library computer lab?

So much time was put into something for it to end on the worst note ever. I cannot even speak about him without dying inside. Its stupid. Why miss someone when they just bring you down in the most horrid ways? I know it was the best choice on my part to put in my word of it being over and I guess it was mainly me who wanted to end it. Its hard to be with someone when you can't be trusted. Its hard to be with someone when you feel like your sexuality is the thing thats going to ruin everything. I hate it. I did research and made note of being deleted from his past, or as it seems. I removed all the friends who didn't care to speak to me, including his. Why keep people around who don't want to speak to me anyways.

So what do I do?
I hide.
I stuff it all down into my toes, and walk it off.
I cover it.
I have a date on Tuesday, and after he takes me to dinner we're going to eat. He'll then be coming back over to watch Nip/Tuck with me.
I am happy about that.
That makes me giggly inside.
He says that he wants to kiss me&i dont think i will turn it down.

I'm tired of feeling lonely.
I'm tired of feeling like I'm not good enough for a guy.
I'm tired of not feeling like I'm worth a thing.

Someone give me a reason to think otherwise.
I think this date will pick me up greatly.
Why remember something when that someone doesn't need you around?

I'm hurting more than I need to be over this.
Someone has told me recently - "Tabitha, you never stop caring, no matter how hard you try..".

Why can't I just stop?
Its causing me more pain than it is to anyone else.
whats done is done.
I understand that, but why can't things go back to how they were?
Late nights and not a care in the world.



when you take the trash to the curb you don't bring it back in the house.
.. i always hated that saying.